4 Hours

It's approximately 4 hours before the race, and I haven't slept yet. My mind is awhirl with conflicting thoughts. Some thoughts are pleasant, some are not very good. Some enough to bury me into a pit of despair, and some throwing out the lifeline I don't even have to hold on and I'm suddenly lifted to firm ground.

God is good. I don't know what will happen to me when I wake one day and find He is not with me. I know He promised He would never leave my side. But I felt him so far away, not very much unlike someone who is in my life right now who promised the same thing. True that I never should compare the two of them, one being human, and the other one Divine. But sometimes I feel as if there is not much different in the way I treat them.

I feel down when I feel they are not there. I do not quite know if I should believe them or not. But one thing is for sure. They will always be there.

Only one is human, and one is Divine. One errs, the other one never does nor ever will. I know that I only need to call out their names when I need them and they will be there. And I know that any time soon I'll doubt them again, resent them, drown in the depths of despair again.

How do I know they're coming through for me? I haven't the faintest idea. All I know is that if I truly love them, I'd believe in them, even if there is nothing left to believe according to the world's standards.

I don't know. I don't always know. What's left for me now is to believe. Believe that love will see me through. That I only need to put my trust blindly, if not in the one that's human, but the one that's Divine. He will never leave me, nor everyone who puts their trust on Him.

I just need to keep on believing.